2018…New Year New Me. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

I’ve never been the one for new years resolutions.  At ALL. I feel like you change when you are tired of being the way you are.  No date will determine that. Change is inevitable. It’s going to happen via force or choice.  As I get older,  my needs and wants change.  My need to change or grow is stronger than my need to stay the same. This year prompts me to do things differently, I seen the difference it made last year and I’m forever grateful for decisions I made to become a better me. It didn’t happen at midnight January 1st. Lol Personally,  They’re some goals I already had written down I picked back up to achieve… no better time than the present.  I decided that I’m going to surround myself with people who will force me to level up and get myself where I feel destined to be.  You should NEVER be comfortable with your current situation if you aren’t Oprah lol and even she pushes herself to do more.  She’s amazing and I truly see her as an unstoppable force. Strive to be better than you were the day before… as you continue you will be the best you EVER were.  ❀ 

Do something daily or weekly that your future self will thank you for.  We all have greatness in us trying to come out.  Let your greatness make it’s appearance. I guarantee you will like what you see.  Until Next Time…

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What’s going on?

Say NO to drugs, Respect your Elders, Don’t talk back to your parents, Respect Authority, If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it. Be a Lady, Be a  Gentlemen. Don’t play with guns, Don’t drink and drive. Preserve your children’s innocence. Don’t lie, steal and kill. If you work hard you will get what you deserve and want. And a host of things I grew up knowing… hearing… What happened? Somewhere in the late 90s we stopped teaching this? I really don’t understand what happened! Why are the things we 34+ year olds aren’t teaching the younger adults and children? #whatsgoingon?

I remember…

First, let me start off by saying sorry for my absence. I’ve decided to start back blogging and being consistent with it. I’m Bacccck(k
As I sit here reflecting as many of us do this time of year. I’ve been through a lot and I’m so grateful and thankful for every experience. The good taught me appreciation, praise and seeing the beauty of the struggle… The bad taught me patience and how to really practice having Faith no matter what. You have to have Faith, Hope and Gratitude. I remember a few years ago that I was in the worst place ever. My life was in total disarray. It was hard keeping a smile on my face. I had no idea how much my life would change by the next year. When I finally got myself together… Well after God humbled me and showed me grace throughout my entire circumstance. I reflected then and was so thankful for everything I went through the good, bad and down right ugly. I realized the importance and beauty of healthy relationships with family and friends. I have friends that are my family without a doubt they love me and my family. God saw fit that I always had my mom, my daughters & a select few family and friends in my corner. I remember coming out of my personal storm with teachable moments for my kids and others. Sharing my testimony blessed others. I needed to go through everything I went through to understand, to grow, to help, to be helped. I’m in complete Awe of God and his divine timing. Once I cried out to him because I was TIRED of trying to juggle this and that. Literally robbing Peter to pay Paul. It got overwhelming for me. it wasn’t just finances though. My health  wasn’t the best.. The stress of life really tried to destroy me. But God. He’s a way maker…far more than I could have ever envisioned. God had me the entire time. Even when I was deep down and out. He continues to have me and keeps me. I took several losses over the years. I didn’t know if I could go on with life without some people… As you see or read rather lol I’m still here. Standing strong, Believing that 2017 is going to be great, amazing, outstanding, wonderful just blessed. And a whole lot of prosperity ❀❀❀😊😊😊

Until next time…

Self assessment

I think sometimes it’s necessary to take a self assessment for so many reasons. Me personally if I’m feeling like I’m losing myself… Then I need to pull back from people or things to regroup. I need to pray and get focused on what’s important in my life… The bigger picture. I like to set goals, make to do list to keep myself accountable. I like the feeling of accomplishing things on my list. No matter how big or small it is. I put it on a list. I need to know how far I am from those long term goals often. I may not look at it daily but I don’t let too long go by without looking and adjusting. Self reflection is a humbling experience. It makes you see all the imperfections you have. If you are slacking in any area of your life… It will come to the fore front so you can change the things you know to be wrong or that you can do better at. It also let’s you see how far you have come from where you once were. It’s amazing to acknowledge that you lost those five pounds that you felt would never leave lol or it’s great to see your savings account is growing. It’s almost like a check up for me… Except there is no doctor no nurse lol. I appreciate self reflection.   Until next timeπŸ˜Šβ€πŸ‘

Allow me to vent…

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This post is funny to me. I’ve been on FB, IG etc for the past couple weeks. I’m amazed at how many women, girls, females are so excited and proud to havxe searched and found and proudly paid for 12s, fruity pebbles whatever the hell the names are. You men to tell me that you spent hundreds of dollars or maybe a thousand or so. But you still in that rental car and you still on your bed from high school?  You could have took you and your kids on a cruise. Oh and the list goes on. You could have got you a small business started… Multiple streams of income is what’s needed these days. Don’t fail your kids by being materialistic and they grades shot straight to shit. I mean seriously we need to do better. I don’t blame the parents.  Some of y’all were raised right. Lol yet you are misguided. You have your own place. You have a job. Your in school. You take care of your kid. So you like I’m doing good I deserve to splurge. Well you are absolutely correct. I agree but how about you buy a bedroom suit. Give them that rental back and save for a decent car. I get it though. When you can waiting on money you feel like stunting. Smh. Bless your heart. .. just my thoughts.. Until next time.

Self Love

I think sometimes we get so lost in other people like our kids, significant others, family or even work lives that we truly forget about taking time to work on just loving ourselves. To be completely honest, I look at myself and some days don’t even see me anymore. I see how am I going to make sure they get through college, oh crap Sprint is due in a couple days, I see that my vision is sucking, I think about my mom and her health. I think about the need to have more parties being that the only occupation I have. I think about every desire I have… A house, having strong healthy productive relationships whether it be with my kids or my family or friends and definitely with a husband.  The stress of life I see all over my face that now I feel unrecognizable. I look back at old pictures and think about things that were going on back then… Life happens. I feel sometimes it happens at the right time most of the time at the absolute wrong time. I just learned that Gods timing is not my own and the only thing I can do is pray my way through. I know it has been a major key in my life. Prayer. Right now I’m praying God restores me. I feel drained by life. I want the happiness and joy that I desire so badly. I want to look and see me again. I want to see the love I used to see. Not the stressors of life. Just a random thought. Just need to love me as much as I love everybody else. Sigh…. Until next time..

My views on Friendships

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I truly love my friends. All my friends…. Especially the friends that have proven to be loyal, love me unconditionally, don’t judge me or anything I’ve done or said. Some of my friends are not just friends.. They have truly became family. It’s an awesome feeling to have friends that support you, uplift you, pray for you and even check you when needed. Throughout my life I’ve learned everyone attached to you isn’t your friend. Some are just Associates and co workers… They aren’t the ones who in your time of need are standing right there asking what do you need? What can I do? Are you ok? They are the ones when everything is happening they just want a front row seat to repeat everything that is going on. Those are associates. The sooner people learn the difference between the categories some lives will be better. I adore mine. They are always there when I’m up and even more when I’m down. Friends are a blessing you only need a good couple of them to be fulfilled. I rather have 4 quarters than a hundred pennies any day. Until next time💋

Soulmates

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I have asked the question before and I have received so many different answers…Can we have more than than one soul mate? Some people dispute the whole idea of even having a soul mate. I believe that everyone has that one person that  connects with them on every level..emotionally, spiritually, physically & mentally. What if you meet that “one” and things don’t work out but your heart doesn’t understand it didn’t…how do you fully move on. You can’t make your heart feel something it doesn’t want to feel. I do believe in the concept of being in love with two people at the same time because some times you love different things about different people. Yet, I would never want to be in a situation like that. I want that I don’t see anyone else kind of love…one of my friends often tells me I’m old fashioned in my thinking about relationships. I know I’m a hopeless romantic…though this same person tells me that what I want is unrealistic. Part of me is thinking he’s correct.  The optimistic side is blocking him out and telling him to shut up. Lol I want that feeling of being head over heels in love with my best friend. We connect on EVERY level and he knows me better than I know myself… And vice versa! Someone who understands me and all the complex parts of me that make me….ME. Knows what I like and will do it and/or give it to me. Because honestly, I would do the same for him. So many thoughts consume me right now and I wish I could backwards in time and correct the many wrongs I’ve done…Thankfully, I’ve learned so many valuable lessons from my past to create a beautiful future with someone that can fulfill all my needs and desires….I’m everything I’m willing to give to someone.. Hopefully it’s not too late. Sigh..Until Next Time

Relationships

Just thinking… Relationships often don’t work because of expectations. I expect to wined and dined…he expects home cooked meals. I expect romance and love..he expects sex. I expect cards expressing emotion and feelings…he expects texts giving him attention and information. See where I’m going with this? Expectations have a tendency to be just as bad as pride in a relationship. It’s destructive to say the least. Now if the relationship is serious like engagement or marriage then yeah that would be the time to have real true expectations. I expect respect, faithfulness, honesty, unconditional love those kinds of expectations. That should be the foundation in my book then you build other things on it. I think a discussion needs to be had during the initial dating period to discuss things like do you want kids or more kids? Do you like the city/country life? How important is religion etc…the getting to know you part Is vital. You may discover you don’t have much in common.  Then you realize it may not be a match made in heaven. When you start a job they screen you and go over your qualifications to make sure in there opinion you are capable of doing the job they are paying you to perform. They clearly have expectations, just like you expect to be paid on time the rate you both have agreed upon. Just food for thought..random blog this morning. Do you feel that your relationship is like your job? Especially when most of you hate your job. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Until next time….

Love is beautiful

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Love is a beautiful thing. Not just Black Love which is wonderfully beautiful when done right. But love in all its forms… First God’s love for us… The love between parents and children, love for ourselves… Those are great expressions of Love.

The love I want to talk about is the love between two people who are truly fully dedicated to each other. The kind of love that is beautiful like a sunset or a sunrise. Often I find myself looking outside at the sunset in awe of it’s beauty. It’s so peaceful and relaxing. I think the right relationship will have you in a state of peace and at ease. You can be having a moment or even a day of aggravation… and something about speaking to that person or seeing that person that makes you forget about whatever it was earlier. Real love done right is a breath of fresh air. That deep inhale of freshly cut flowers (unless you have allergies lol) it’s beautiful. This person heightens all of your senses and makes you want to become a better person. It’s mutual attraction, mutual affection, mutual attention…never feeling like you are doing more than they are in regards to the relationship. It’s great to show each other appreciation…sometimes it’s the smallest gesture that means the most. It’s not ALL about the money. A foot rub is priceless to a woman. A back and shoulder rub is priceless to a man. I don’t know too many women that don’t like being taken out on a date. Now let’s pause right here…Let me give you an example of a real date…when you don’t live together. You make plans for this date before Wednesday if the date is on a Friday or Saturday. The reason why some of us need to get sitters or make sure the kids are straight. We might need to get our hair done or whatever to spruce up our appearance. Ok let’s resume. Date is set for 7pm on Friday….The time is important no lady wants to be starting her date at 10pm what’s really open then LOL come to her door and pick her up open the car door for her. Have your vehicle cleaned and smelling good even if you have to put everything in the trunk LOL don’t have young thug playing..set the mood..Let some old school r&b play. Drive safely she shouldn’t have to be holding on for dear life. This isn’t NASCAR. Take her somewhere she actually wants to GO. Common mistake men make you dressed for wings and bbq she dressed for a sit down restaurant with  linen tablecloths. Communication and a mutual understanding is EVERYTHING. Ok back on track have dinner have a conversation without your cellphones. It’s hard but if the conversation is what it needs to be you will be engulfed in one another. Men pay the bill. I mean REALLY stop it with this bs about a woman paying for the food and you leave the tip or just pay for the movies LOL disclaimer! No every time you don’t have to pay but that should be agreed upon before the check comes. Also, I don’t care if she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu that does NOT entitle you to sex. Period that shouldn’t even be brought up yet if you just starting to date. …next by this time it might be 9pm. Ask her would she like to take in a movie or go somewhere else…let’s just say she says no..Then take her back home in the same way you got her. Drive safely. Show affection hold her hand or at a red light quick kiss or whatever. Park the car at her home and walk her back to her door make sure she is in then leave.  Now it’s a decent date. Of course it’s NOT ideal for everyone it’s just an example. I’m in my thirties so I’m more into romance than some younger women. Lol We want to feel butterflies and excited when we see or hear from you. Falling in love is SO easy. Staying in love isn’t. What you do to get her is what you need to do keep her. If you text Good Morning Beautiful and wish her a great day chances are she will appreciate that. Show real genuine concern about her and her day. She will do the same for you …It’s just the truth lol Making him feel appreciated and respected should be high on your list of priorities ladies. Like I said previously you can pay!!! It’s NOT always going to be elegant restaurants. If he wants hooters then you put on your jeans and dress cute and watch a game with him while he has beer and wings. Relationships are built on mutual respect for each other’s needs, wants and desires. He will love you more for NOT always being a diva. Be each other’s best friend. Be honest and trustworthy. Life is beautiful with someone you can love and loves you back the same.  I personally want that breath taking romance…I want years of memories that displays endless sunrises and sunsets…. Until next time